new mungie thing

bright eyes is hot

ahhhhhh holy fuck i remember something which mum said the other night. when i was drunk too i think i hate the way she always fucking loves to attack me when i'm in an altered state of consciousness, when she thinks i'm weak, sleep deprived etc.

fucking told me that i owe shit to my dad to fucking fuck what the fuck... cos he never got a chance to.

what the fuck does she know.

what kind of fucking.

anyway...

go to that site that max or alex showed and was funny...



anyway... that was last night's post... this is last night.
tonight for some good and rational reason my mother decided NOT to disconnect the internet. which makes sense so i guess i shouldn't be so impressed. but yeh, change is good anyway.

i had the biggest wave of dejavu just before. i was talking to laura on the phone about a whole lot of stuff, and that postsecret site, and.. anyway stuff ain't too deep tonight...

ahhh fuck it... for once i'm not going to blog enough... stuff will sort itself out later yay. at least i posted a picture.

goodnight, and yes there was much more to write

hmmm... tender lips...

well that's enough on that topic eh folks???

i found this quote on MisFits' blog: this is a young liberal talking shit but it's quite awesome in some way:

'The two greatest forces for good in human history are capitalism and Christianity, and when they're blended it's a very powerful duo.'

well these last 2 days have been a bit strange. feel like i'm not in control of my body. hmmm... sounds like the same old shit but seems different. i'm not articulate enough to describe it properly except for - disconnected. felt like i was on drugs at the zoo yesterday with giulia and mum.

has anyone else come to the conclusion that Muse is just a poor Radiohead imitation.? it seems much like that to me listening to 'time is running out'. AHHHH listening to popular italian music (some western music but fucking mainstream as.)

there's 2 lights on in my room... i hate 2 lights on in my room so ugly.

i was dying in the rain last night. so fucking cold on my sleeping bag with rain dripping on my face. i'm getting back into music from italy. some of the techno's quite hot believe it or not.

well this is where i got upto until my stupid CUNT MUM fucking disconnected my internet AGAIN
update soon

can i really avoid that what is happening now will set a precedent
for what is going to happen after now?
future

the memory that i thought i might have created is the one
in which i was doing a thing similar to making the bed go up and down
when i breathe or spin around in a happy colour world (one colour only).

but this time i was streaming through just different stuff some strange lighted temple passageway.


the humans in this world are amazing

the human mass is on a scale so gigantic its mindblowing
it's insanely difficult to tap into and to make oneself seen within the glowing, nebulous structure.

i had a bath today. then a shower straight afterwards. One of the best things about ecstasy is the distinct change in experience. The worst thing is obviously the 'depression' i am suffering at the moment which is without a doubt real. Once source states that 'it takes 2 weeks for the effects of one pill to completely wear off' and i must say i wouldn't be surprised. The other important effect is the way it has made me remember things out of the blue. For example when having the shower at alex's place i remembered an amazing house that i was in in italy. It was sort of old, rather disorganised, quite dark and a bit dank, moodily lit, and with really awesome old-looking white and black tiles. i had a shower there and the whole place smelled of character. europe is amazing because it is so fucking different to everywhere else. sort of despairing a bit but it's all right. edith made the point that there is no point to taking drugs because one forgets almost everything. (which was actually my point; that one forgets everything), but i have changed my mind and have decided that one does remember quite a bit, and also that it still has its effect on your experience if you don't even remember it.

i hope Teagan has been found. she went missing and no-one could find her for ages

i feel like my mum wrecks my life sometimes, but at other times i totally empathise with her and get what's going on. last night i told her 'i wish you could just be more chilled out like me', she said 'i wish so too'. tripping out a bit at my grandparents place with a bit of dangly food hanging out of my mouth + something happening similar to the feeling of my eyes rolling back into my skull.

sort of deppressing to think that not lots of people are reading this i feel its stuff that is interesting to read.

tonight i was going to break into a golf club:

finances (cash register)
transport (golf buggies OMG)
intoxication (alcohol fridge)
and something else too (ALEX DON'T BE SHY HERE)
ah yes i already remembered
weaponry (golf clubs) would have been insane but has been postponed

i think my mum was listening in to my phone conversation last night (there's an example of her semi-ruining my life)

if i didn't already mention i am still feeling the effects of the ecstasy. weird shit, even typing is weird.

mung mung

No way. Sounds awesome. Gone to my grans cos i don't know which parts of my memories are reality and which are invented. In a dark car in a freeway.

i was telling my grandparents that i got offered ketamine (horse tranquiliser) at slinky. my grandma, which was pretty weird, asked how much they guy wanted to sell it for.

nobody knows i was on drugs except my friends.

undercover cops. amazing women. dealers.

i saw an amazing crazy goth video and on E it was totally fucking insane.

nothing mattered. coming down hard back to reality is really harsh

the next saturday

startfile... excerpt from diary

fucking fucking jesus fucking cunt christ hell fuck.

i hate it so much when people come in to my room and
after i've woken up + just ruin everything

(1) 1st part of the dream: 2 identical rooms side by side completely dark in one room there is a very evil person

some sort of article about a disaster in space, some weird space base a tragedy has occured

concrete despair and pink blue skies.

2 girls one mother one daughter walk out of the huge thing into space and they die, because of despair. the rest of the huge station was empty.

(1) continued from para 1: veiled and sheithed in black she sits meditatively in the small rectangular room around them a fairly ordered room there are chairs made of mahogany or that dark japanese cherry woood, there is no light and an ominous feel to the room.

theis scene is somehow connected to the earlier space scenes but i don't know how. The evil one is sitting there listening to the good one (who has significantly more white on her) she's doing more than listening though, she's performing some sort of dark ritual to possess the other one, but it seems like she's listening

after that the dark one's essence goes up to the wall separating the two rooms and passes through the window. her essence is smoke like and whooshy. into the other room. in a very roundabout weird way i am seeing things from the white one's perspective (not white but she has a white cloth around her head or something) and somehow the good one is thwarting the dark one's attempt. like counters it or something and the essence is beaten or warded off or something. anyway it disperses and sort of shies away. next- the bright one somehow has the essence of the dark one in a dark vase containing very white milk. and is heating the milk up very hot to destroy the essence.

both very meditative, purely rectangular rooms, both female.

next - in the bush sort of place for some sort of camp. there are people with some sort of problem, i see them all lined up for a race or something, but they're lined up as if they're about to do a running sprint. and they fall of their bikes and stuff cos there's something wrong with them

something happens (maybe i'm checking in to the camp or something) but i can't remember then i'm in this cabin a fair way away from the main street where the race is being held. i'm in there doing something that i shouldn't... all the racers are going really fast and molly is like being really scared and dodging between them outside of the dark caravan cabin (dark inside at least)

no it's nothing sexual

anyway got to go will continue later love to my friends

what is and where i end and you begin

startfile...

this delirium is... tasty

i've been feeling far too solid for quite a while now

now i'm feeling warm and as if i should be comfortable up against hard, thick, lightly coloured wood.

on sydney road today i saw a man who looked like a pirate. He was very tall (so much that sim thought he might have platforms on), had realy cool hair (all dredded and pirate like) and was wearing some kind of piratish hat on his head. He was dressed all in black with some kind of large black pants on.
the funny thing was his voice
it was in such contrast to his appearance: brutish and pirate-like to high pitched and camp voice.

i liked the feel in the air today it's warm but light at the same time. like.... not humid but warm, and sort of refreshing as well. on the tram i felt groggy and completely out of touch with my surroundings. light headed etc. but it was a refreshing feeling.

again on sydney road, after having bought wazza's hookah, i looked at a building across the street; what a sight, the sign on the building was lit brightly from the sun on to it creating a sharp straight line of darkness where the buildings over the other side ofthe street cast their shadow upon it. the sign was shiny, but in the background was a rich (i was going to say watercolour painting) but i will say 'gradient' instead, going from dark grey to darkish, intense blue, to a pale, breathtaking, sort of shocking pale blue. interposing the gradient rich sky was a rainbow, emerging slowly through the drizzling grey rainy warm atmosphere.
i could taste moisture in the air
in front of the sign, and the building was a street light. one moment i looked at it, it was on, the next, off...

these colours combined to further deepen my awe at the myriad of astoundingly vivid colours surrounding my insignificant organism. on this wonderful, drizzly, warm, fresh day.

below are some points i forgot to mention when i originally wrote this entry:

• i felt fresh and new, as if, as has happened before, i was seeing everything from a fresh, childlike perspective.
• it was as if my sensory cynicism had dissapeared. (i have a sort of theory that as we grow older, our senses become accustomed to the world around us and the things we see (as the sights we see each day are often SO similar, not just sights mind you) and so become 'cynical'.
  
• it felt like there was more i should have said in this section but i can't really think of anything except- don't disregard the bit about the tasty delirium and the fact that i've been feeling to solid recently as fluffy poetry; it's not.
  

well here is the promised picture of very weird alien looking hot girls that also look very prim and proper... errr.. anyeyway

wow... i just found in my diary that on the 3rd of this month i had a very strange dream about going to a nazi camp to assassinate hitler, then running away downa familiar street, then i was at a party and some weird shit was going down, which i chooose to not reveal.. LOL

so amazing that you can completely forget something like a dream and it can seem so unfamiliar that it's like it could have never been in your consciousness... crazy

...
promised transcript:

startfile

what date is it?

it doesn't even mattah

it's 5:00am and i just had one of the most amazing nights of my life (note crazy really curvy energetic writing).

ECSTACEE - picture of a small pill with a demented mitsubishi symbol on it (since i can't draw) caption - 'mitsubishi'

oh my god it was totally amazing

so now i'm sitting in bed an' i'm like: wtf mate.
cos there was this nice guy from up the road and he walked up to me + wanting to have sex with me - seemed nice anyway tho i wasn't interested in sex.

then i'm even more like WTF maite i because as i rode home on my bike feeling slightly lonely i realised 'i have NO REAL FRIENDS' -> note - no matter what thought processes occur after this - This is a TRUE EPHIPHANY in some way.

sahara nights.
hmmm... everybody smoking hookahs

then the MOST wtf thing is this weird squeaky rubber sound like the sound of a sneaker on a football court is in the hallway squeaking every so often.

it's like at the same interval every time and it can't be some kind of living thing - sounds too inorganic. so yeah that's fucking weird because my mind simply cannot and will not fathom.

touching myself grabbing on tight and thighs and arms feels really good.

hissing tssszzzhhh electronic sound.

damn didn't get with noone (names not found)

completely fucking amazing feeling dancing

everything foreign and new and fresh from a different perspective

lights are all blurry instead of normal as if slightly squinting though i wasn't...

amazing feeling just touching people.
throwing bike - amazing strengty to pick it up and shoot it away - SO STRONG.

so energetic running to drink tap + back.

i am coming down quite hardcore.

it was totally like my first time but just big huge effect.

random guy gives us half a tablet each (beh not random)

his name is sam and he loves india in the patns..

almost making tessa cry because i asked her so many times to stay

whoa INSANe

startfile...


geez...
haven't blogged in ages.

don't have time to do so now either... sorry people.
expect updates soon...
things to come:

• talk about interesting developments with interesting people

• transcript from saturday night... wow.
  

endfile...

good pic to come too of hot random blog people

trent reznor - live in concert (NIN)

well it seems this is what i'll be missing out on... boo- hoo.

i am so sick of fluorescent lights. i feel as if they are eating my soul.. and they make my page look as if it's some sort of crazy luminescent colour that it's actually not.

feeling significantly less like 'some kind of crazy punk' today.

back to- being lazy (or maybe not for those of you who have read the most awesome article on education in Thursday's Age) DUDE! what a beautiful intellect.

i don't know what's going to happen from here...

there's a strange girl at my class at the cae and she just sits there and doesn't talk. and is unreceptive. she's very well dressed, and quite attractive.

frustrated..... where's things going?



hmmmmm.... "i'm confused too kid. nerds and pot are a dangerous combination".

endfile...